Raw Inequality

Twenty-three years is a long time.  It is a lot in the memory files.  I do not complain about my fortune, although the path to it  was up hill and left somewhere in my mind experiences of how difficult was be a woman in the work place, particularly in management positions specially, when you are the only woman with management responsibilities and being more senior tan some men.  It is difficult experience the subtle chauvinism that sometimes is promoted by other women.    I said subtle because they can’t hide the fear or not being enough when sometimes they are not really qualified for the job in hand.

I have experience what is the “Boys Club”. The name fits like a glove. The work meetings at the Golf Club with beer, spending Company resources on trivial activities while leaving the working women, actually working at the office.  I still do not understand what is the ”Golf” status because you can talk about business everywhere, including the Spa or any other fitness activity.

I have seen and hear how they talk of a new or prospective employee during Management meetings.  There was a time that I indicated that their comments where inappropriate to receive back a comment from my boss at the time in some sort of “joke” “we may have to stop inviting you to these meetings”.  I was a Senior Manager at that time, more senior than most of the “guys”.

During my years in Finance and Accounting, I had a preference for reporting to women. It is not about one sex over the other but, I have noticed that women focus in quality, they promote a collaborative mindset, and I don’t have to worry about sexist commentaries.  I had excellent male bosses and poor male bosses. I had three female bosses in my career and I have worked very well with all of them.  I respect them very much.  There was always this sense of respect, admiration later and the certainty that I can grow professionally in the same way they had.

I have heard negative comments of some successful females in the companies that I have worked for.  I remember in particular the comments of a certain CFO.  I remember that the same people who were all smiles in front of her, used to talk about how rude and hot temper she was.  At the same time, I used to observe that when a man raised his voice in the countless meetings I attended or was rude, nothing was said about his temper. They said that “he” was firm while “she” was raging.   I still don’t understand these unjust opinions.  I did not defend her at first but later on I did, when I worked closer to her and develop my opinions based on my experience plus what I saw developed around her.   I think at the end I won her trust but, I was not looking for it. My focus was on the work we have to do and at point it was something new, something different we were developing. My mind was on it but I am not blind to what was obvious.   I appreciated how she talked to me.  I thought that I wanted that position in the long run but at the end I realize that the risks were higher than the benefits.  These men were not loyal to her and I did not want to work with people like that who reports to me.

Four years ago, my husband and I were contacted by recruiters and these conversations lead to our decision to move on from the Company we both worked for more than a decade.   We worked in different departments, sometimes in different buildings, different regions. Therefore, there were no conflict of interest.  The truth from my part was that I needed something new and I was a little bit done with the group that I was working with.  I was really tired and bored.  I was tired of the resource limitations, of the uncertainty from the last four years before, of the increasing demands, of the doubtful business practices, of my reported doubts of certain business transactions and of the rewarded incompetence.

The tipping point was the realization that I received the smallest percent increase vs my male counterparts when I knew I reached my objectives.  This was without any performance review of my objective.  Which was company policy.  Internal controls were something to be talk about, but that people were resistant to follow.   That was the day that I faced my suspicion from many years ago.  That boss that I used to admire was a chauvinist.

A couple of years after I left the company, that group was part of a big reorganization as a result of an asset transfer.  The responsibilities were spread among other regions, positions were eliminated and most of the top management left one way or another.  Time have proved many events I anticipate will happened.

That day, that event made easier for me to move on.  I decided that I was going to leave the company that I have loyal to the last 12 years.  I planned to give a three weeks noticed while I was continue talking with a company in North Texas.  My husband accepted an offer from a company that was competition with the one we worked for. I wanted something different, therefore I was into an industry that I appeal to my personality.  The intention was to leave a finished audit work, add other signatures to the authorization process for reporting and banks and train my team in some of the activities that I performed to not interrupt the day to day and monthly deliverables.

The day I resigned, I was clear about why I was resigning.  I did not have to.  I could have stayed and could have helped them while they find another competent person but it seems that the fact that the following week my husband resigned motivated them to act in a foolishly vindictive manner.  At least that is the impression it gave.

The person who hold my position in the past worked for more than a year remotely.  It happened that the person was a male.

The day that my husband resigned, he has ready to abandon the building and being escorted by human resources since he was leaving for the competition which was normal but, this is not what happened.  Instead they asked me to leave the building and informed me that I will be paid until the effective day of my resignation.  When I received all the exit paperwork from human resources, it indicated that the effective day was that same day.  Therefore, what was said was not consistent with the paperwork.   My husband on the other had was asked to stay to transfer paperwork.

Therefore, the company decided to keep working a Caucasian male and send home the Latin women.

It hurt to experience this type of discrimination.  Because that it is how it was.  I felt that I have to act as a professional and I also did not want to affect my team.  It was not logical what was happening. To the women who worked close to me, it was a hit to extend that one of my direct reports team member left one more after I left. All the people who were involved lost a great deal of respect.  Actions talks lauder than words.

I stayed at home one week.  I called human resources to claim the date on the exit paperwork.  My husband almost threated them with a lawsuit if they were firing me after I resign.  They indicated that it was a mistake.  He was still working there. In retrospection maybe I should have, but at the moment you are in some sort of incredulous state.

At the end of that week, the person who I used to report to, called me. He asked me to return to finish what can be finished.  You know why? Because they were not able to pay to employees, to pay expenses, to pay inter-companies and suppliers.  I was the approver, the signor of all operational activities.  The parent company  employees that we reported as entities were the one that protested how they managed the situation.  There were a lot of details to leave in order.  I knew that.  This is why I gave three weeks notice.

These people who managed the human capital directly or indirectly did not know what they were doing.  They were incompetent and that it is why they are out of my life for good.

I went back and between all the time that I have to spend listening from everyone who interacted with me how badly they were behaving and how impressed they were with my respect to the duty. In my mind I could not allowed a few small minded people take away my values, my control and my honor.  I took all of that with me and left smiling looking forward to the new adventure. I left the toxic air behind and was breathing free.

I mentioned earlier that one of my team members left one month after I left. Later one some people who I thought were incompetents, were fired by the new management because of repetitive big mistakes. I was not there anymore to fix anything.  They recruit a male friend from my prior boss to the position who was not fluent in English or Spanish.  Now he plans to return to his country. .

These people do not recognize that they have this discriminatory mentality. They hide it behind jokes, smiles, comments without thinking, in questions, sugar coating many things, but it did  showed up eventually.  It always does.

I can tell the story because I lived. It was the end of inequality for me in that place.  It was the moment of removing masks, of seeing the true colors of some people.

At the same time that I tell this story I can say that I meet a lot of people who left a positive mark in my life.  People from whom I learned respect, brilliance and resilience. Those last two years in that company were when and where I felt inequality the most.  My place was not in the kitchen, it was where I chose it to be. I left them there.   I saw that last day as an end of an era and the beginning of my freedom and since then,  little by little,  I do my part to promote equality.  I hope one day it is reached and there are no more March for Women that I can not miss.